Monday, July 1, 2013

Types of Mother In Laws ...

I am one of those few lucky people who happen to have a good Mother In Law. Generally most of the people i meet have horrible, beyond humane kinda MiLs... or so i am told. On the basis of a decade being in the married zone i have concluded that though there are no perfect MiLs (just as there is no perfect Daughter in Law) but you can generally categorize 2 types of MiLs:
1: Good
2: Bad
Now we all know that the Good ones are a rare breed and they will sure go straight to heaven. But the second genre of Mils has further sub-categories. In my opinion there are at least 9 kinds:
1: Born Evil
2: Attention Seeker
3: Superiority Complexed
4: Inferiority Complexed
5: Greedy
6: Miser
7: Perfectionist
8: Only Son Syndrome
9: Has Too Many Women in Her Life

1: BORN EVIL:
Certain people have a bad karma i believe. As it is said that there are kind of people who spread happiness wherever they go, and then there are those people who spread happiness whenever the go! And this attitude is developed really early in life i think. Born evil is just pushing it further back, but actually i mean that they have some kind of bad upbringing or bad childhood , which leads them to be pure and simple evil.
       Such Mils don't let the DiLs breath. Everything that the young bitch does is wrong in their opinion and since they are not happy they will not let her DiL be happy either. They like to back bite and are also the ones who leave the gas stoves/ovens on to murder the innocent young girls!

2: ATTENTION SEEKER:
This kind of MiLs are really annoying, as they don't necessarily do anything evil but they suffocate their children by being over demanding and wanting to be the centre of attention at any given cost. Such good old ladies get sick-a-lot, throws a lot of parties for the children, grandchildren and even the daughter in law as long as they remain the get to play the most important part during the arrangements and celebrations. Such MiLs also can be really embarrassing as they love to grab mike or to the contrary say NO to something that everyone is insisting upon.
    They usually get into accidents or some minor illness when the son and DiL has a holiday plan where the MiL is not tagged along.

3: SUPERIORITY COMPLEX:
I feel the worst for the DiL of such a woman. This stuck up woman will keep reminding her DiL about her being:
from another cast/creed/city
her family owning more riches than that of Dil's
under-educated
not good at house-hold jobs
not knowing how to cook for her son
unable to raise kids properly
not as pretty/thin/jolly as she (MiL) used to be
not being able to give birth to prettier/taller/male children
etc
These ladies eventually make the poor young girl believe that she is no good and might even turn into that sad lowly creature that the MiL keeps describing her as.

4: INFERIORITY COMPLEX:
If the DiL belongs to a richer family, has given birth to too many sons or has won the son's heart completely , it might give the MiL an inferiority complex. Such ladies tend to get depressed and find ways to show the DiL down whenever they can, especially in public.

5: GREEDY:
Such MiLs give the DiL and her family the toughest time perhaps, by constantly asking , demanding , comparing or threatening with divorce. She will always be greedy for more and often pretends she has lost the gold gifts that she received so that they be replaced with more. Such women will either be fat or quite thin but never in the middle, perhaps because their greed either comes out in the form of gluttony or they try to suppress it by hiding it.
There is generally no cure to such diseased people.

6: MISER:
Do not confuse the miser and the greedy. While the greedy wants more and more to spend, the miser wants more and more to hold on to. Such ladies will count the Botis (Meat) in your food, won't let a single tomato or onion go waste and insult the crap out of the DiL for wasting the washing liquid in the kitchen, "when 3 dishes can be washed with the same amount why you keep adding water to it"? These ladies will constantly whine about their DiL's unaccountability and make sure that the time is used on activities that save money. When the DiL can cook , why hire a servant for the kitchen? When the father in law can teach , why hire a tutor? When i can talk, why turn on TV and waste electricity?

7: PERFECTIONIST:
Do i even need to say anything about her?

8: ONLY SON SYNDROME:
Ah the patriarchy has doomed us all!!! In cultures like ours , the importance of a penis regardless of its size or functionality is beyond explanation, whether it belongs to you or to one of your significant other. Women thrive on having to be associated with a man and if some unfortunate female cannot bear a son , she is as good as nothing. Hence sons are all and everything to the Mommies in the sub continent. Now if someone has only one Son, remember not to marry your daughter off to that guy ! It's a plea! I have seen many a cases where marriages were arranged only because "he is the only son...will inherit it all alone!"  and the poor DiL suffered the wrath of the MiL all alone too. such MiL's tend to perform all kind of chores for their sons by their own hand. They are insecure that is the DiL starts taking care of the son she might steal him or he might start getting stolen. I have heard of cases where the son mostly slept in the MoM's bedroom while the wife and kids slept in the other...tch tch tch

9: GOT TOO MANY WOMEN IN HER LIFE ALREADY:
Yeah and this sort are ruthless in a very indifferent way. Since they have got their sisters or daughters already filling the void which needs to be filled with incoherent talking, hence they don't really have time to mingle too much in your business. They have a lot of trivial worries of their own to solve e.g sister's husband is cheating on her; daughter's mother in law is giving trouble; friend's daughter is having an affair etc. Such MiL's can be dangerous because all the theories and stories they hear from other ladies are applied to the DiL. Hence such a DiL can save her ass by being friends of all the other women in her MiL's life!

I am sure there are more kinds out there that i still have not been informed about. But what i really would like you to think about is that how many of such Mother In Laws live inside you? Each one of us has some part evil, some part bad, some part unseen or unaccepted by our own selves.
Sometimes it is beneficial to be self critical..isn't it?

3 comments:

  1. How abt one on father in laws too....... there s an existing weird variety ive cm across

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  2. Good and hilarious depiction of the most important role in a married woman's life in the sub-continent and in some cases even abroad.

    How about the type of DiLs too, I am one myself with a severe superiority complex, believing I need to constantly downplay it :) -

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