Sunday, June 30, 2013

My Glass is Half Full...Yours is...?

Choosing to see if your glass is half empty or half full is a matter of your sanity if you are living in urban Pakistan these days. Since you have to constantly counter the crises of electricity,water and gas supplies, educational, economical and political contingent situations, unwanted relatives and so called friends and again electricity. I'd like to share with you one such day to elaborate my point.
     I woke up drenched in sweat and my children stuffed in between me and my husband...not to my surprise (though only God know how they end up there every morning, while i ensure they are tucked tightly in their bedroom every night ! ). I 'm sure most of my Fellow Pakistanis are familiar with the sweat drenched mornings or midnights as the Air Cons turn off as the electric power goes off, and if the power doesn't come back in an hours time then the UPS also starts to slow down and eventually the fan dies too. Now if your husband has any active bone in his body that works during the zombie hours then he'd get up to turn the generator on. or you will wake up soaked...as it happened in this case.
    Thank the Lord above it was already morning and we had to wake up anyways, and i was hoping that my cleaning maid would turn up earlier that day as a long lost friend of mine was coming over to visit. She had returned to Pakistan after 8 years, from the USA. So i got up, got everyone up and welcomed the day. As i went to the loo , to my surprise there was no water! As it happens sometimes the electricity crisis had affected the water tank that supplies water to my neighbourhood, and no one bothered to announce or inform us. Our over efficient gardener watered the plants and left the hose on to replenish our newly acquired American grass, and leaving us waterless. But thank the Lord above, we have a lot of drinking water in the kitchen and refrigerators, and whatay delight it is to use chilled water for poo poo and pee pee purposes on such hot and electricity/water-less days.
   From 10 am to 1 pm i was getting the kids have breakfast and do their school home-work, ignoring the noise of Jenny (our generator), facebooking and anticipating my maid's arrival. By lunchtime i finally accepted that she is not showing up today, so i got my wits together and got up to sort out the house. With no water and now will it was a drag. My cook and driver had already had a fight about some trivial issue not to my surprise as it happens on hot days in Lahore. 
   Anyways.... the day dragged along and by the mercy of the Lord above things somehow turned out fine before my precious guests arrived. The cook cooked food, my cleaning maid, water and electricity all showd up after lunch, i got the kids cleaned up, phoned hubby to remind him to come home early,ordered nik knacks, got a massage and finally got dressed. The sun retired and the guests arrived by the evening prayer and i found myself in a very uncomfortable situation , climatically and socially. It appeared that out dear guests who had decided to bestow Pakistan with their presence after almost a decade were not happy to be back with their Old widowed mother and Blind Sister ( its a reference from Indian Cinema's Amitabh era... just so that you know). They thought that Lahore's society had lost all its manners and etiquette in the last 8 years. People walking the earth on this part of the world resembled "Mental Dogs" (pagal kuttay), and all the doctors and In-Laws were "Educated Illiterates" (perhay likhay jahil). The traffic system was run by aliens and  the electricity crises reminded them of stone age. Since their children couldn't speak urdu, they were very apprehensive of the education system here as their kids had problems communicating with others. 
     Their lives back in the US and A were so perfect that they couldn't wait to go back. They had come for 3 months and now were regretting their decision. They confessed that they missed their busy lives there ... lives where they wake up at 5 am to go to work and come home at 6, cook food, do laundry, meet the kids and go to sleep. Where they dont have friends as they don't want to interact with the alcoholic infidels. Where they socialize on Eid only which is not a day off from work either. Where they are ensuring that their kids do not turn out to be like other kids or God forbid treat them how the white people treat their parents. Where there is no electricity failure ever!
     I was trying to look at my cup which was half full literally ... sipping coffee and thanking the Lord above that my husband was somehow still keeping his calm. As soon as they left i apologized to my husband for inviting such disrespectful people over, and i couldn't be grateful to him as he only beat me with his shoe that night and not with his belt. He has told me i cannot meet any of my friends ever again and i'll make sure i never ever do that. 
   After all how could they say such things about our homeland? after all it is our land which has kept us grounded and connected to our religion! and it is our religion that connects us back to the land of the holy Arabia. If the roads of Lahore do not remind you of the desert of Arab, how will you remember who you are? The palm trees provide us with the shade not only from the sun but also from the satan.
   May we all drink mango juice as smoking is injurious to health. After all all super hero movies now are in 3D and we have got to respect that.

15 comments:

  1. loved reading this witty letter. amber maybe the friends were sharring their views as friends generally do, and we don't have to agree to it.i agree that our country gives us identity and should be our pride...no matter how much time we spend abroad we will never be goras...so might as well stay what we are.i don't blame the kids who are born n bred there as they only tell what they heard or are told about. just keep your star shinning. and pray to God that we can fix things a bit ......its divine to know that it can actually happen.

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  2. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Loved ur article Amber. I realy like the cool blend of comedy, sarcasm and the serios notes altogether. Iys quite attached with the given fact our generous cpuntry rulers are giving us i.e., to laugh when to cry and cry when to laugh
    Trust me i had the same situation with me just yesterday and my sister came to visit me for the first time with her kids of 2 and 4. But alas not had the cruel response what u recieved. Lol. Anyways people; no matter what kind they belong to, juat dont want to live or stay in this country. I hope n prayfor an absolution n some miracle happening
    Say amen to that!

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  3. Absolutely LOVE your aricle!
    I expected it to be something different and it turned out to be something COMPLETELY different!
    Exactly what i needed to start my monday with!

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  4. :) thank you guys. it is always very encouraging to get positive feedback from readers.

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  5. story of our lives, but then, i think its positive, this is where we belong and love being here with all the idiosyncrasies..

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  6. really enjoyed reading you.... great work

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  7. i really enjoyed ur article mam ... its great :)

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  8. Story of our lives. Love the sarcasm!

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  9. nice ...

    this is a topic of our family sitting these days, where i look at glass half empty and my sis tries to bring my ficus of half full.. any how .. my sister who is a lecturer at a women university was robbed just outside her home and those boys on bike took her laptop with her thesis inside.... my focus is yet again on half empty glass..

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  10. I won't say its new( people forgetting where they 'actually' belong ). It all depends upon perspective. Loved the sarcasm. Well done

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  11. hahaha! " If the roads of Lahore do not remind you of the desert of Arab, how will you remember who you are? The palm trees provide us with the shade not only from the sun but also from the satan. May we all drink mango juice as smoking is injurious to health. After all all super hero movies now are in 3D and we have got to respect that." hahaha - yes, o yes.

    that was one witty epistle. every time i thought, okay, i got you now, you twisted it right there. husband beat you with shoe, am going to beat him with belt - tell him you got friends in india who are wife-beater-haters :D. so good to read you, hear from you. and yes, once again cheers to the quirky, deliciously sharp girl i met many years ago on the white sands of Kerala.

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  12. Great Writing. This is so true of South Asia, be it pakistan or India... keep writing rather blending comedy, sarcasm and the seriousness

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  13. loved your sense of humor amber

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  14. Probably the most ironic and contradictory blog post I’ve ever read.
    Lol I find it ironic that you complain about the “supposed” hardships of Pakistani life, with you being a housewife from a good family. I can’t imagine how hard it is with your maid and cook coming in late and the electricity crisis that’s such a burden on you, even though you own a generator which most Pakistanis don't have the luxury of. It must be alot of work having to get up each morning and getting your kids dressed while there are some if not most in Pakistan who can’t even find something for their kids to wear, because they don’t have anything. But of course the life of the Pakistani elite is definitely way tougher, I’m sure. And of course who is a Pakistani-American to judge, that works and pays their own bills while handling home life without the assistance of cooks or servants. And not even them, but it seems that Pakistani-Americans in general have no right to talk about the situations of their home countries or even complain but those there in Pakistan, in their secure communities, with a guard outside their door, always off to attending some social party or vacationing to exotic places OUTSIDE of Pakistan, have the express right to complain about everything and anything that goes on in Pakistan and be offended by outsiders who disagree with the situation in Pakistan, even when it seems they haven’t done anything to contribute or help the situation themselves besides perhaps the lavish charity events they all flock to.

    (If not obvious in my post, 75% was sarcasm)

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